Gotta get on with my life.

I miss the past, when things were simple. When I liked you and you liked me.... And that was good enough for the both of us.

But things change and people change.

I just really need to move on from the past. I'm so sick of everyone here in Ashland. I want to go to college a new person and never look back at this town. I want to forget just about everyone and move on with my life.
I dont want old relationships to complicate my future and want I really want, to be honest.

I feel bad... Life would be easier if you just hated me for the wrong i've done. But no. You have to feel the exact opposite... Complicating things for me even more...

Maybe in the future we will be reunited. And things will work.. But for now, I don't think thats going to happen anytime soon.


I'm sorry.

I just don't know what to do..

Asdgjnoijkm

Stop assuming that just because I tweet something its about you.

It's stupid. No one would have even taken it that way.

But if the shoe fuckin fits, then wear it i guess.

Cry. me. a. river. Im. pissed.

Lets all just make big deals out of nothing, especially when you know NOTHING about it. Okay? Okay.


I hate stupid ignorant people.

Some things just never change, even when you really wish they would...

Respect.

I want friends that are all around respectful.

Friends that can respect strangers, their enemies, and most of all me.

The last few days make me thankful for a few friends that I'm gonna name now.

Krysta: I love how you are miles and miles away but that doesnt stop us from being close. It gets hard and we drift at times, but when im stressed to my max you are the FIRST person i call. I'm thankful to have such a loyal best friend. I miss you. My otherhalf<3

Katie: We fight, we dont get along, we laugh together, we cry together, we hurt together, we do everything together. You and Krysta are my most loyal friends... After 13 years of friendship i feel like i know you inside and out. I can tell when you are lying, I can tell what you are thinking simply by your facial expression. You give me the BEST advice possible. You understand why i hurt and you back me up all the time. You let me rant and rant and cry til i cant even speak anymore. You just listen and comfort me. You make me eat fattening foods when i dont want to, and you encourage me to be the best i can be. You make me realize the good in things and people. I am so thankful for our friendship. Partners in Crime forever and always<3

Kenzie: I have known you pretty much my whole life. We are best friends, AND ITS NOT OKAY TO PLAY WITH OTHER PEOPLE WITHOUT MY PERMISSION BECAUSE WERE BEST FRIENDS AND YOU HAVE YO ASK ME FIRST. Hahahahaha. 4 year old Luann was a bitch. But seriously, i love you to death. You are so beautiful and one of a kind. I like hanging out with you because i can be weird around you and you dont judge... I love our crazy times. But i have been missing you alot lately. I understand you have a boyfriend and all... But dont get to caught up in a guy and totally blow off your friends..k? Im missin my best friend.  Love you<3

Darby: Even after 13 years of friendship we still have alot to learn and get use to about eachother. Like you having to get use to the fact that I'm weird and LOVE making people feel awkward. HAHAHAHA. I love how you just let me vent when i need to. I love that when i make mistakes you dont judge me and still are willing to see my side and hear my reasons. I'm glad i have a friend like you that can be honest and bring me back down to earth when i need it. Love you<3

Savannah: Girl, you are beautiful, amazing, respectful, and talented. I love you with all my heart. After Krysta left i felt like i had no one. Then i went through one of the most scariest experiences in my life... And you out of everyone was there for me the most. I love you. I love your family also. You guys have been there for me soooo much. I truly see you like a sister. Thank you so much for being there to pick me up when i need it. Thank you for being an amazing person. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. Love you<3

Abbey: Thank you. Oh gosh, it has been a bumpy road to friendship. But I'm glad that after going through what we have gone through that we can be such good friends. You are there for me when i need someone. You pick me up when i fall, and you ALWAYS remind me to see whats on the brighter side of things. I'm thankful for you being my friend after all the bull shit. I wouldnt trade what has happened between us for anything. You have taught me an amazing lesson. Love you<3

Kristen: We havent always gotten along. But we are the closest we have ever been and I love you. Im thankful for someone who stands up for me, someone to cheer me up when im down. Someone who sends me goodmorning and goodnight texts reminding me that i am loved. Someone that goes out of their way to cheer me up, someone i can spill my heart to and get amazing advice. Someone i can tell my secrets to and not be judged. I am thankful for you. Love you<3




You won't always see me with these girls, but they are my true bestfriends. I couldnt ask for more loyal, respectful, beautiful friends. They keep me standing and steady. I love you guys... I'll always be here for you through the hard times. Always. Dont you forget that. <3

Thanksgiving

Its Thanksgiving so thanks shall be given.


I'm thankful so many things. To be alive, for my amazing friends, my family, but most of all i'm thankful for my little sister.

Angelica (Annie) Ann McIntosh.

She is 8 years old. 8 years ago she was born on November 27, 2003 and back then it was Thanksgiving. So she is almost 9. *sigh* Growin up so fast.

Each year this little turd brings so much happiness into my life. She makes me smile when im down and makes me even happier when i think its impossible.

She is the most amazing, outgoing, beautiful little girl i know. She hasnt had the easiest life, in fact its been even harder than mine.

She just got taken out of her dads custody which i am thankful for the most.

She deserves a normal life...

I love you Annie, that will never change.

<3

Jealousy

When I have to sit here and repeat to myself



"I'm not jealous. I'm not jealous. I'm not jealous."


But I am...


I hate you sometimes.

I hate when you text me.

I hate when you get my hopes high.

I hate that you act like we're friends and that everything is "okay"

When they're not.

I hate that i act like things are "okay"

I hate how i cant just be open and honest with you about my feelings and thoughts.

I hate how its not me tagged in those statuss and pictures.

I hate seeing you with someone else.

I just absolutely hate it...

It's time for a brand new start, time to turn the page, and move on.
My old blogs are all now gone because I simply don't want to see or read them anymore.
I have changed, and I'm hoping it's for the good. I feel like the past year I have grown as a person.
My old blogs make me sad, and I never want to feel the way I did at the times when I wrote them.
College is creeping around the corner, and I'm just starting to find myself.
The past is the past and I'm hungry for the future.


Say hello to a new start.

<3